Been so long.

I am trying to break it off with someone. I hope I can do this

It's not going to end well either way. I just have to. For my sanity. I sure hope he can take my excuses and my apology. Maybe directing him towards another potential girlfriend will surely help make it ten times easier.

I mean well, I swear.

I thought I'd blog one more time at least before the new year. Even if I don't do that much anymore. Anyway I have a few resolutions. Mostly just things to improve myself or my way of living. Eat healthier, get a good night's sleep, etc.

I also want to bring up a subject I speak alot about before and that's relationships. One of those would be the one with my parents. I have a so-so relationship with them. I honestly think it's gotten a bit awry as of late. This year especially I found myself rolling my eyes or avoiding them when they spoke to me. That's not the most mature thing. Yet I felt if I said anything to oppose them, I'd receive backlash. Do I fear my parents? No...but it certainly feels like I'm walking on pins and needles when I talk to them at times.

They are not the most easiest people I know to say the least. I feel a little resentment there too. I don't hate them. I just realized I don't respect them as much as I used to or as much as I thought I did. Sorry parents, we just don't understand each other. Enough with the social pressure! I'm not from the future so no I can't tell you when something big will happen for me. I know you care and you want the best, but if you keep pushing, you'll be steering me into a direction where I just won't have much to do with you. And yet it almost seems that you want that. So if that's how it goes, then I'm on my way, far far away from you two.

Ok deep breathe. I won't speak of it again. Unless something changes. Will enjoy the rest of my holidays and have a happy new year!!

Saturday night at home. This is random, but today I was thinking about old MTV shows. Who remembers Road Rules? I thought it was the more interesting version of the Real World. By interesting, I mean adventurous. To me, the ones I got hooked on were Semester at Sea and The Quest. Real World ones I did watch were Hawaii, some of New Orleans, and some Las Vegas. Then MTV did some nonchalant combination of the shows and threw some crazy physical tasks kind of like Survivor. Didn't favor these shows, but I'll be honest, flipping through channels, I watched it a few times. How did I know they would use the loudest cast members too? So anyway it came up out of the blue when I was thinking about older reality shows and it's strange, but I kinda miss them.

I did a lot of growing up recently. I apologize for some stupid things I posted before regarding people I know and even to those I don't. It was weak of me to say anything out of anger. I shouldn't let emotions get the worst out of me. Including when I'm deeply saddened about something. It's not easy, but I know toughing against all that is worth it. Sigh. I want coffee now.

Extra random things - I think Faith Hill's True perfume smells good. Also Halle Berry's.

Having onion breath makes me a little thirsty.

When I hear the words, I like, I think I like eggs. It's a childish reference.

Cleaning and keeping things neat lightens me up.

I'm going to the movies. I'll watch anything new.